Has anyone seen the newest hot pockets creation?
The official name for them are Hot pockets Sideshots but we can all be real here, they look like balls.
The "selling point" of these things is that they are portable, and you won't get made fun of for walking around eating them. I did not realize that this was a drawback of the previous hotpockets. I feel like the normal hot pocket is already fairly portable, and I am also certain you will not get made fun of any less for walking around with a hot pocket product that looks like gentiles.
Then again another part of me is like, maybe these things are amazingly delicious. I mean how else would they actually go ahead with the idea of making them. Then again 95% of what Jim Gaffigan says about hot pockets is true, so I'm not so sure how much sense the company has for what is a good idea. Who wrote their jingle? The map from Dora the explorer?
Chances are I will never try these things unless I go to the grocery store unbelievably hungry, but if that happens my cart will already be very very full by the time I get to them in the frozen foods aisle...it always is.
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They're actually Hot Pocket testicles. See, they raise Hot Pockets on the hot planes of Death Valley, which is the only place on earth that perfectly mimics their natural habitat of a Micro-wave. After breeding, the free range Hot Pockets drop their testicles in various recepticles around the area that only recently have been discovered by Hot Pocket ranchers. It is actually healthier to ingest these "side-shots" because they don't contain any of the carcinogenic Hot Pocket semen.
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