As some of you know one of my pet peeves, in addition to people saying they are "peeved", is when I get a fortune cookie only to find there is no fortune to be told. Not that there is no slip of paper, but the slip of paper projects no fortune upon me. Often times it is some nugget of wisdom, but a wisdom cookie it is not. I don't care what Confucius say unless its something like "You will trip on a canine before the next dawn"
I've been hangin' on to my "fortunes" for a little while in an attempt to tally just how many fortune cookies aren't what they claim to be. I have divided them into 3 categories, Fortune, Not a Fortune, and a third gray area category I am yet to come up with a decent name for.
So lets get to it, all of these come to us from Panda Express.
"Your kindness will lead you to success"
Verdict: Gray area: While it does sorta predict success in the future, its more wisdom than anything.
"A sudden change in plans will lead you to good fortunes"
Fortune: Now you may be saying that's just like the first one, what gives? The key is that it predicts the future and nothing else. A sudden change in plans is unknown, the kindness I already have (not a word, I can be nice and you know it).
"Chances of glamour and excitement are coming to you"
Fortune: While it could be a lot more bold, chances c'mon now cookie, it is obviously taking a stab at predicting the future. Ooh excitement I can't wait!
And lastly, "You create enthusiasm around you"
Not a Fortune: Clearly, it's just a statement of fact. Well I don't know if fact is the right word but still no prediction there.
So the count at the moment is 2-1-1, fortune - gray area - not a fortune, more to come later.