Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Random Thoughts: Tracy Morgan, Sliced Bread, and Playoff Hockey

First, now lets all be as mature as possible when I say, Tracy Morgan is either constantly drunk or mildly retarded. I mean this with no disrespect, and its not that there is anything wrong with that, well if he is constantly drunk that could be an issue, but I digress. If you have ever seen the interview he gave on some morning show in which he said something to the effect of watch out while I'm in town, somebody's gonna get pregnant, all while lifting his shirt and slapping his belly, you know where I am coming from.
Well anyway, he threw out the first pitch and was interviewed at the Oriole game tonight. He described his pitch as "A hanging fastball, or maybe it was the slider" then went on to say "I learned that when I was playing pro ball. I was with the Padres with Jose Uribe". Jim Palmer chimes in with "It's Juan Uribe" *Co*Dick*ugh*
Morgan came back with something like "when you play with him you can call him Jose". All and all it was an odd interview Palmer and Gary Thorne treated him like he was a 12 year old.

Second, why do people always say "The greatest thing since sliced bread"? It hit me today, sliced bread is just about the worst thing to make a sandwich with. Think about all the things you would rather have a sandwich on than bread. Potato roll, kaiser roll, pretzel, croissant, glazed donut, KFC is using fried chicken for bread! Greatest thing since sliced bread? Using something other than sliced bread to make a sandwich.

Lastly, playoff hockey is gripping. I can probably count the number of regular season hockey games I watch more than 90 seconds of each season on one hand. But when the playoffs roll around, something happens and the games just become riveting. The sense of urgency hits another level. Saw the Caps lose game 7 earlier tonight (I dislike the Caps) and the last 3 minutes of that game were amazing. Caps on the power play with the Goalie pulled for the final two minutes! Are you kidding me! Every shot the Canadiens took on the empty net either went wide by a few feet (these shots were saucers from the other side of the ice) and the one on net was saved by a diving Capitals player. If you have a bone in your body that thinks 'hockey might be okay I guess', watch some playoff games and you wont be sorry.
And as the greatest innovator of our time Red Green always says, keep your stick on the ice.

Oh and here is a link to that Tracy Morgan Interview here

Friday, April 2, 2010

Hot Pocket Balls

Has anyone seen the newest hot pockets creation?

The official name for them are Hot pockets Sideshots but we can all be real here, they look like balls.

The "selling point" of these things is that they are portable, and you won't get made fun of for walking around eating them. I did not realize that this was a drawback of the previous hotpockets. I feel like the normal hot pocket is already fairly portable, and I am also certain you will not get made fun of any less for walking around with a hot pocket product that looks like gentiles.

Then again another part of me is like, maybe these things are amazingly delicious. I mean how else would they actually go ahead with the idea of making them. Then again 95% of what Jim Gaffigan says about hot pockets is true, so I'm not so sure how much sense the company has for what is a good idea. Who wrote their jingle? The map from Dora the explorer?

Chances are I will never try these things unless I go to the grocery store unbelievably hungry, but if that happens my cart will already be very very full by the time I get to them in the frozen foods always is.