tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52715160324407748692024-03-13T23:07:14.020-04:00Writing because I canumdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-62626184549910465502011-03-16T22:00:00.000-04:002011-03-17T21:32:29.079-04:00Tales of the Baltimore Light RailI was riding the light rail downtown last summer when I heard the yell some dread. "Everyone get your tickets out!" The officer strolled to the front of the car and spoke up again "Ticket Check!" Being the good citizen I am, I had nothing to fear as I purchased a round trip ticket before hopping on board.<br /><br />There were about 20 people on the train, enough that someone probably didn't have a ticket, and few enough that I should be able to hear the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">argument</span> that may transpire, the perfect scenario.<br /><br />The female officer worked her way back from the front of the car, reading tickets from extended arms, "Thank you...Thank you...Thank you" she said quietly. She was checking tickets in the row behind me when it happened. A boy and a girl, both college aged had but one ticket between them.<br /><br />"I have a round trip ticket, can we just say this is the same as two one way tickets?" He pleaded.<br /><br />"No", the officer snapped back, "one of you is going to have to get off at the next stop and buy another ticket." She continued to work the train checking for tickets. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Disappointed</span> at the lack of an altercation I went back to looking out the window. The ticket shy pair talked quietly for a bit as the train came to the next stop. The girl walked past to the front of the car and went out the door.<br /><br />I turned to see the boy still sitting in his window seat peering to the front of the car as a middle-aged woman behind me advised him, "She's not gonna have time to buy a ticket and get back on the train." Only then did I really put all the pieces together and I became instantly more intrigued by this couple.<br /><br />Thinking to myself 'That was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">awfully</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">naive</span> of them, they must be younger or dumber than I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">originally</span> thought', the boy replied to the woman, "Oh I know, she's just gonna catch the next train and catch up to me." Younger than I thought, maybe not, dumber than I thought, definitely.<br /><br />Now I'm fully invested, who were these people? What was their relation? Where were they going? What possible situation made it okay for the guy to leave this girl behind in downtown Baltimore?<br /><br />The fact that they were both wearing matching blue T-shirts with only the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Chevy</span> logo on them now becomes much more important in my thought process. Were they on their way to some kind of volunteer work and were late? Regardless the boy should have gotten off and let the girl go ahead. While my mind is racing for a reasonable <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">explanation</span> the train comes to a stop, I had to get off. When I stood to leave, SO DID THE BOY! The girl got off at the previous stop literally 2 blocks away, where for some reason she was in line to buy a ticket. Why on earth didn't they just both get off and walk. I can not think of an acceptable reason for the young man to ditch his female companion. The best case for him is he was trying to get dumped for some reason. But if that was the case, how was he convinced to where the exact same shirt as her? And she must be pretty firmly under his thumb if she accepted being the one to get off the train so quickly, so I'm not sure he was looking for an exit strategy.<br /><p>Whatever the explanation was, I will sadly never know, but people will never cease to amaze me.<br /><br /></p>umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-15711945002488935522011-02-05T22:52:00.001-05:002011-02-05T22:57:12.166-05:00Fortune of No?: Part IIIHaven't written anything in a while, so <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">here's</span> an easy one to get back in the swing.<br /><br />"You love the spotlight - Become an Entertainer"<br />Not a Fortune: A terrible trend in fortune cookie <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">writing</span>. I will <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">predict</span> something about you - then tell you what you should do because of it.<br /><br /><br />"The respect of influential people will soon be yours"<br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Fortune</span>: And a pretty decent one at that. Although I guess respect doesn't really mean wealth or success.<br /><br /><br />"You know what you want - go for it"<br />Not a Fortune: You are getting very lazy 'fortune' writers - try <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">writing</span> a fortune including the phrase 'you will'<br /><br /><br />Running Tally - 5-2-5 (Fortune-Gray Area-Not a Fortune)umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-29849707829414412982010-09-15T22:08:00.003-04:002013-09-29T11:58:45.091-04:00Fantasy Team<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitgY0swE8VvYBsosgW4goEfI0s4hLjKF1Fzaw6alTEcri34YefvbLmKgeBIjdnAtRtiS1exOQOYqfYjSZc8mSBBed-WG-MrwH0xeApwXohUNwmU7VsXv2o2a1tj6xxLJIJAAEnPEitj6Sc/s1600/Ray+Bear.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517327627831074290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitgY0swE8VvYBsosgW4goEfI0s4hLjKF1Fzaw6alTEcri34YefvbLmKgeBIjdnAtRtiS1exOQOYqfYjSZc8mSBBed-WG-MrwH0xeApwXohUNwmU7VsXv2o2a1tj6xxLJIJAAEnPEitj6Sc/s320/Ray+Bear.JPG" style="display: block; height: 264px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC5HYNyNbpfrVnBLDXbPvjP6IwaA7tR7jD9b0Hwv52CXYFV5rH8lAmV1jq2Ghv6ymOnVFHnbNHewBRH2zYVybRkn__TRqjuot41Ksjo9oBhjAWf867UFBiTuebKdTcPvF0zZu6ObeSYuJi/s1600/RayRay+Laser+Raven.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517327617652787410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC5HYNyNbpfrVnBLDXbPvjP6IwaA7tR7jD9b0Hwv52CXYFV5rH8lAmV1jq2Ghv6ymOnVFHnbNHewBRH2zYVybRkn__TRqjuot41Ksjo9oBhjAWf867UFBiTuebKdTcPvF0zZu6ObeSYuJi/s320/RayRay+Laser+Raven.JPG" style="display: block; height: 247px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a> I'm naming my Fantasy football team "Ray Bear and the Laser Ravens" and I'm not sure which of these pictures to use. Also I need them on the interweb so ESPN can link to them.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5pu0eS2UMCB5cJ9z6gFAR5bRcfuBzOH5DkVZnZkswLmDhoLtsYBl38yLysusGaomOw48zlYZhzEmEALqqQfyznAGEqnfm8GvILDP3bl4-go8-dkxSau5pjxZIKY2JioUVxeu-VP_C9kd/s1600/Restore+the+Roar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5pu0eS2UMCB5cJ9z6gFAR5bRcfuBzOH5DkVZnZkswLmDhoLtsYBl38yLysusGaomOw48zlYZhzEmEALqqQfyznAGEqnfm8GvILDP3bl4-go8-dkxSau5pjxZIKY2JioUVxeu-VP_C9kd/s320/Restore+the+Roar.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
</div>
</div>
umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-49753461779174382252010-06-09T20:51:00.002-04:002010-06-09T20:55:53.115-04:00Attributes in which I am better than GhandiHair Growth<br /><br />Eyesight<br /><br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Appetite</span>umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-77056530951927106762010-05-17T22:58:00.003-04:002010-05-17T23:09:27.513-04:00Things I have learned while watching the Lakers-Suns Playoff game1- The cast of TNTs Southland is not famous enough to ignore that the camera is on them and not wave into it.<br /><br />2- Lebron James has played in exactly 71 Playoff Games, Kobe Bryant has scored 30 or more points in exactly 71 Playoff games.<br /><br />3- Kentucky Freshman All-American John Wall enjoys watching an NBA conference semifinal game courtside to wind down after a tough week of exams. If you think the NCAA one and done rule has anything to do with student athletes you are a boob.<br /><br />4- If Kobe Bryant has a chance to push you and not get called for a foul, he will push you, then probably push you againumdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-24615506405406421312010-05-04T21:57:00.001-04:002010-05-04T22:30:19.253-04:00Everything Butt HockeyThe NHL Playoffs are in full swing, and they are in a word AMAZING. The NHL definitely takes a larger step up than any other league when they venture from the regular season into the playoffs. They're playing for the Stanley Cup, possibly the greatest trophy in sports the World Cup is the only contender in my eyes. Not to mention the beards, what a marvelous tradition that is. I could watch just about any 3rd period <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">that's</span> within a goal or two in its entirety, and yell at the TV while doing it. I can not give playoff hockey the endorsement it deserves.<br /><br /><br />That being said, lets see if I can ruin it. You know where this is going, we're <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">playin</span>' it out NHL style to see which teams mascot is the funniest when you throw the word Butt in front of it.<br /><br /><br />Whoa, timeout, Versus has intentionally scheduled the final half hour of the red wings sharks game to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">immediately</span> follow the pens <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">habs</span> game. Pens-<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">habs</span> was 1-0 going into the last minute and Wings-sharks is 3-2 with 10 to go. What a great plan. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">Anywho</span>...<br /><br /><br />First lets take a look at the Atlantic Division. Devils, Penguins, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">Flyers</span>, Rangers and Islanders. Take a moment to say them to yourself (with Butt in front). This division has some depth but no great teams, Butt Rangers walks away with the division, some of the others have a shot at making the wild card in the east.<br /><br /><br />Northeast Division : Sabres, Senators, Bruins, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">Canadiens</span> and Maple Leafs<br />Not a particularly strong group here, your Butt Sabres take the division, but there <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">isn't</span> much hope for the others.<br /><br /><br />Southeast Division: Capitals, Thrashers, Hurricanes, Lightning, and Panthers<br />Wow, Butt Capitals is the only team here that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">isn't</span> good at all. The Butt Thrashers are the early favorite for the cup. We'll give the wild cards to the Hurricanes, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">Flyers</span>, Panthers, Lightning and Penguins.<br /><br /><br />In the Western Conference, Central Division: <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">Blackhawks</span>, Red Wings, Predators, Blues, and Blue Jackets<br />If you tell me you said Butt Predators to yourself and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">didn't</span> chuckle a little, well maybe there <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">isn't</span> anything wrong with you, but you could be having a little more fun with life.<br /><br /><br />Northwest Division: <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">Canucks</span>, Avalanche, Flames, Wild and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">Oilers</span><br />Yet another stacked division, turns out hockey wont let you down even if the playoffs have the word butt thrown in there. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">Oilers</span> top the standings here.<br /><br /><br />Lastly, the Pacific Division: Sharks, Coyotes, Kings, Ducks and Stars<br />Not a particularly strong division, I see the Sharks taking this one, with the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">wild cards</span> shaking out like this, Avalanche, Ducks, Kings, Wild, and Flames.<br /><br />The outcome of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">ensuing</span> playoff bracket is shown below, and lets be honest who <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">didn't</span> see a Thrashers-Predators Final.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 364px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 156px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467606093881057810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-kay938dRkCFk98_dg5PweEmAxFUuEsKQYKsxdjGNiHJlbOWePS9yScBv7XTrCzgkGq_KKayZgZhQ0PRLx_JdA-FVtg8LmojG_UiN1qeTKcBOUS_tUEQ1-8ITmhfZv0HiPu22fWWjJAw/s320/NHL.JPG" />If you think different let me know, I'd love to hear someone e<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">lse's</span> input on the matter.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-48406927751799254472010-04-28T21:58:00.003-04:002010-04-28T23:31:57.080-04:00Random Thoughts: Tracy Morgan, Sliced Bread, and Playoff HockeyFirst, now lets all be as mature as possible when I say, Tracy Morgan is either constantly drunk or mildly retarded. I mean this with no disrespect, and its not that there is anything wrong with that, well if he is constantly drunk that could be an issue, but I digress. If you have ever seen the interview he gave on some morning show in which he said something to the effect of watch out while I'm in town, somebody's gonna get pregnant, all while lifting his shirt and slapping his belly, you know where I am coming from.<br />Well anyway, he threw out the first pitch and was interviewed at the Oriole game tonight. He described his pitch as "A hanging fastball, or maybe it was the slider" then went on to say "I learned that when I was playing pro ball. I was with the Padres with Jose Uribe". Jim Palmer chimes in with "It's Juan Uribe" *Co*Dick*ugh*<br />Morgan came back with something like "when you play with him you can call him Jose". All and all it was an odd interview Palmer and Gary Thorne treated him like he was a 12 year old.<br /><br />Second, why do people always say "The greatest thing since sliced bread"? It hit me today, sliced bread is just about the worst thing to make a sandwich with. Think about all the things you would rather have a sandwich on than bread. Potato roll, kaiser roll, pretzel, croissant, glazed donut, KFC is using fried chicken for bread! Greatest thing since sliced bread? Using something other than sliced bread to make a sandwich.<br /><br />Lastly, playoff hockey is gripping. I can probably count the number of regular season hockey games I watch more than 90 seconds of each season on one hand. But when the playoffs roll around, something happens and the games just become riveting. The sense of urgency hits another level. Saw the Caps lose game 7 earlier tonight (I dislike the Caps) and the last 3 minutes of that game were amazing. Caps on the power play with the Goalie pulled for the final two minutes! Are you kidding me! Every shot the Canadiens took on the empty net either went wide by a few feet (these shots were saucers from the other side of the ice) and the one on net was saved by a diving Capitals player. If you have a bone in your body that thinks 'hockey might be okay I guess', watch some playoff games and you wont be sorry.<br />And as the greatest innovator of our time Red Green always says, keep your stick on the ice.<br /><br />Oh and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOhKrL5DB1Y">here</a> is a link to that Tracy Morgan Interview hereumdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-22259261778106120972010-04-02T20:53:00.000-04:002010-04-02T20:54:12.328-04:00Hot Pocket BallsHas anyone seen the newest hot pockets creation?<br /><br />The official name for them are Hot pockets <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sideshots</span> but we can all be real here, they look like balls.<br /><br />The "selling point" of these things is that they are portable, and you won't get made fun of for walking around eating them. I did not realize that this was a drawback of the previous <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">hotpockets</span>. I feel like the normal hot pocket is already fairly portable, and I am also certain you will not get made fun of any less for walking around with a hot pocket product that looks like <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">gentiles</span>.<br /><br />Then again another part of me is like, maybe these things are amazingly delicious. I mean how else would they actually go ahead with the idea of making them. Then again 95% of what Jim <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Gaffigan</span> says about hot pockets is true, so I'm not so sure how much sense the company has for what is a good idea. Who wrote their jingle? The map from Dora the explorer?<br /><br />Chances are I will never try these things unless I go to the grocery store unbelievably hungry, but if that happens my cart will already be very very full by the time I get to them in the frozen foods aisle...it always is.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-37099995958802014592010-03-24T21:18:00.002-04:002010-03-24T21:45:22.387-04:00Fortune or No?: Part IISame deal as Part I, is it a fortune or not or does it fall in that gray area.<br />*Tangent*- Whats the deal with gray and grey? I wanna say one is older <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">English</span> or something but you see them both all over the place. Weird. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Anywho</span><br /><br />"Indulge your ambitious nature"<br />Not a Fortune: Clearly just a command. No food can straight tell me what to do, unless its Jesus as a bowl of cherries.<br /><br />"You will soon <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">receive</span> help from an unexpected source"<br />Fortune: <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Talkin</span>' bout the future, a little mystery with this unexpected deal. I like it, solid fortune<br /><br />"Give your business interests top priority next month"<br />Not a Fortune: Quit trying to boss me around cookie, but thanks for giving me til next month before i have to change my priorities. And tell me whats gonna happen, don't suggest what I should do.<br /><br />"You will soon change your present line of work"<br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Fortune</span>: Pretty obvious, I guess I'm not interested in what I do or maybe I change jobs around the first of the month...Lets be real these fortunes are fairly old, cookie you missed the mark.<br /><br />"Participation in sports may lead you to a lucrative career"<br />Gray Area: Sounds pretty <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">fortuney</span>, but at the same time its also just kinda a statement. Also pretty sure I missed that boat. Panda lady <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">musta</span> messed up and gave me the wrong cookie.<br /><br />That brings our total count to 4-2-3, Fortune - Gray Area - Not a Fortuneumdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-16823614203043365732010-03-15T21:55:00.002-04:002010-03-15T22:28:35.517-04:00Everything Butt College BasketballThe NCAA tournament field was selected yesterday. This reminded me of a essay I began on what I now see is December 1st, 2009. It started out something like this...<br /><br /><div><div><div><div><div><div>"I have a theory regarding ESPN, and possibly its own demise. The more popular ESPN has become the more and more people they have hired. Many of these people perform unbelievably specific and often times useless tasks. The more people they hire the more pointless tasks they need to create and before you know it, they've eaten themselves alive like a confused snake.</div><br /><div>Anyway, one of these tasks that is pointless something like 49 weeks out of the year is projecting the entire NCAA Tournament field. But guess what ESPNs Joe Lunardi cranked out 2 weeks ago...yup an entire bracket, seedings and all."</div><br /><div>So at the time I took the bracket and decided to do something at the very worst equally as pointless. I played out the entire tourney using the mascot names. The funniest mascot name moving forward. Oh did I mention in this game you have to add the word "Butt" to the beginning of the mascot name? Cause yeah you do. (They idea stems from a Bill Simmons Mailbag, I'm not a complete nutbag) Sorry I don't have the actual schools on there, and feel free to debate a match up you think went the wrong way.</div><br /><div>On an actual sports related note some of the choices are pretty funny. The following are some notable seeds Lunardi picked 3 months ago with the teams actual seed in parentheses. Kansas 1 (1), WVU 2 (2), Duke 2 (1), UNC 2 (NIT), UConn 4 (NIT), Syracuse 10 (1) and of course Terps 7 (4).</div><br /><div>See below for the bracket, the only way it was readable was to break it up. Enjoy...if you are as immature as I you shall.<img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 190px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449044338337117874" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmwfCslGbA8u7nlx4aecGs23l5rtFb27XgMZ0wuerxmsCXepjY2ndGXuiZl6IPXPK6QINZtU1I4tB_bAlNxjAuEkojkZrIGIHQlh0v9AsTwnMOIVs7uhlfn9knrzOIr8VEDAbnQpQISDL0/s320/West.JPG" /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 201px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449044037117104162" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-KHECyGabQWr_7_xQZVwUw5Fb0vivue0rkHU0VM6VGAKyDQv8iM3pfycPDVQRiF3Y5cwXx9gqJz_mw2gHvoFLYRjthk98G-UIFXvXPaHkcW3QQZ8FNvPWqg4udw5p_E8Pw8rHqargCYAK/s320/South.JPG" /></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 207px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449043833133451186" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2efyp0YmYliWQVfD89o1zWeT6JLf_345BNb0UETWHsl2Siotpye7QEhSkjiQvWOTeZtWrGNu2VUATyQhW9pkBAkDTr8voUo4rjU-Rs3U2Ly610HOL3W3ho7im_GB1Hrs6-bN5WHbqqA-3/s320/Midwest.JPG" /><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 189px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449042188958088914" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnocPlw9LlKi47bPB7JiF8D2bN5ek7nGYvlJj15HNtsrAoL8mJA1AaeQkpVZZyU6eyHTIvDJjqijmFkT_P55T2ppMtngu-WvsXOieX8z7UNF0g5-_rNZfktDfC5Zf2GgFZ2VurpTA5D40t/s320/East.JPG" /> <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 319px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449043332992200834" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6UVzMs-bxOW90ZHMLvTNF39gAP5txXWsKI2ArTvKatFmBDC6eqqGBwKdXJpE-SielaJnS053hDc0QfOtVdpafpd2jJihkGiisDflodlpIum8KcsXw0eGuP8yKDoV_x_rd-KLue2pL-UQi/s320/Final+4.JPG" /> <div></div></div></div></div></div></div>umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-9012227614104780082009-11-15T21:35:00.003-05:002009-11-20T21:24:45.112-05:00The Hamburglar is afootIf you go to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">McDonalds</span> and order off the dollar menu you may notice a strange burger called the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">McDouble</span>. I know what you are thinking, and yes the double cheese burger was formerly on the dollar menu. Now it appears slightly above said dollar menu as a regular ole <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">sandwich</span> that costs a whopping $1.19. What is the difference between these two burgers besides a sizable 20 cents? Today I got to the bottom of the mystery, I had an idea as to what the answer would be, and I'm said to say my inkling was correct.<br /><br />The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">McDouble</span> is constructed from bottom to top of bun, beef <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">pattie</span>, slice of cheese, beef <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">pattie</span>, two pickle slices, mustard, ketchup and diced onion capped off with a regular bun.<br /><br />The more robust Double Cheeseburger consisted of bun, beef <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">pattie</span>, slice of cheese, beef <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">pattie</span>, <em>a second slice of cheese</em>, two pickle slices, mustard, ketchup and diced onions capped off with a regular bun.<br /><br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">That's</span> correct the only difference between a Double Cheeseburger and a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">McDouble</span> is a slice of cheese. 20 cents for a slice of cheese! Ridiculous.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-24402471459536215242009-09-20T21:24:00.005-04:002009-09-21T22:09:18.863-04:00Fortune or No? : Part IAs some of you know one of my pet peeves, in addition to people saying they are "peeved", is when I get a fortune cookie only to find there is no fortune to be told. Not that there is no slip of paper, but the slip of paper projects no fortune upon me. Often times it is some nugget of wisdom, but a wisdom cookie it is not. I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">don't</span> care what <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Confucius</span> say unless its something like "You will trip on a canine before the next dawn"<br /><br />I've been <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">hangin</span>' on to my "fortunes" for a little while in an attempt to tally just how many fortune cookies aren't what they claim to be. I have divided them into 3 categories, Fortune, Not a Fortune, and a third gray area category I am yet to come up with a decent name for.<br /><br />So lets get to it, all of these come to us from Panda Express.<br /><br />"Your kindness will lead you to success"<br />Verdict: Gray area: While it does sorta predict success in the future, its more wisdom than anything.<br /><br />"A sudden change in plans will lead you to good fortunes"<br />Fortune: Now you may be saying <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">that's</span> just like the first one, what gives? The key is that it predicts the future and nothing else. A sudden change in plans is unknown, the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">kindness</span> I already have (not a word, I can be nice and you know it).<br /><br />"Chances of glamour and excitement are coming to you"<br />Fortune: While it could be a lot more bold, chances <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">c'mon</span> now cookie, it is obviously taking a stab at predicting the future. Ooh excitement I can't wait!<br /><br />And lastly, "You create enthusiasm around you"<br />Not a Fortune: Clearly, it's just a statement of fact. Well I don't know if fact is the right word but still no prediction there.<br /><br />So the count at the moment is 2-1-1, fortune - gray area - not a fortune, more to come later.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-80265265692510826892009-08-10T21:59:00.003-04:002009-08-10T22:59:18.203-04:00Spare a thoughtI was forwarded an email a few weeks ago that really made an impact on me. I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">didn't</span> forward it to anyone at the time because I wasn't sure of anyone I knew that wasn't on the list of recipients with me that would be interested. The following story, written by someone I don't know but I'm glad they shared it, should be of interest to everyone. It says a lot about society today, and about how sometimes our <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">priorities</span> can get out of sorts. So please take a minute and read this story, think about whats really important, and honor a deserving man even if it's just with a thought.<br /><br />"One of the "Band of Brother" soldiers died on June 17, 2009.<br /><br />We're hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services.<br /><br />I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell "Shifty" Powers.<br /><br />Shifty volunteered for the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">airborne</span> in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry.<br /><br />If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.<br /><br />I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle", the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.<br /><br />Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Airborne</span>, or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.<br /><br />Quietly and humbly, he said, "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945..." at which point my heart skipped.<br /><br />At that point, again, very humbly, he said, "I made the 5 training jumps at <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">Toccoa</span>, and then jumped into Normandy...do you know where Normandy is?"<br /><br />At this point my heart stopped.<br /><br />I told him yes, I know exactly where Normandy was and I know what D-Day was.<br /><br />At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland, into Arnhem."<br /><br />I was standing with a genuine war hero...and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day.<br /><br />I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France, and he said, "Yes. And it's real sad because these days so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.<br /><br />I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in Coach, while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.<br /><br />He said, "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and still care enough to make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it. And mine are brimming up now as I write this.<br /><br />Shifty died on June 17<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> after fighting cancer.<br /><br />There was no parade.<br /><br />No big event in Staples Center.<br /><br />No wall-to-wall, back-to-back, 24x7 news coverage.<br /><br />No weeping fans on television.<br /><br />And that's not right."<br /><br />I don't know how I can add to this man's story, but I'm gonna try. I told this story to two people, and both times it was difficult to fight back tears. I can be get pretty emotional, but I hope this story meant something to you to.<br /><br />The word hero is thrown around fairly quickly by people today, often in the sports world. Not to say sports <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">doesn't</span> have its heroic figures. Jackie Robinson and Roberto Clemente are two of the most influential people since World War II. But most heroes never really get their due. Many don't ask to be celebrated. All the more reason we should take some time to remember what they have done.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-65773312804788555112009-07-21T21:56:00.002-04:002009-07-21T22:37:19.045-04:00The worst commentary on the 40th anniversary of the moon landingIf you saw the news or virtually any television program yesterday you know that it was the 40<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span> anniversary of the first time man set foot on the moon, if you believe that actually happened but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">that's</span> a whole other discussion. While my parents and others were reminded of where they were when they saw it, I was reminded of one of my favorite stupid questions to ask people.<br /><br />If only you and an animal were going to travel into space together, what animal would you take with you? Feel free to think of your own answer before reading mine.<br /><br />I feel there are two schools of thought hear. One, choose something fun or comfortable, your pet for example. Or two, choose something practical. I have personally narrowed it down to two animals.<br /><br />I think it would be nice to bring a penguin with me. A classy bird, always a plus when spending a lot of time in close quarters. But the real reason I'd take the ole tuxedo with me is so that he would have a chance to see what its like to fly.<br /><br />My other choice is the obvious one. Clearly gotta go monkey. This is the ultimate combination of fun and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">practicality</span>. Like a station wagon with a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">hemi</span> in it, wait that exists, why can't America sell cars! Anyway, monkeys are pretty <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">goshdarn</span> smart and could be trained to help you do stuff in space, and whats more fun than a monkey? Monkeys have actually been in space right? Or was that just a cartoon show?<br /><br />Either way my choice is monkey with penguin being the runner up. Who would you take into space with you?umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-91234050619828138802009-05-04T21:48:00.002-04:002009-05-04T22:12:36.337-04:00Remember: Power RangersMore specifically Mighty <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Morphin</span>' Power Rangers, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">don't</span> know much about all these other ones, my little cousin tells me there is some sort of wild west power rangers.<br /><br />The only reason I mention this is a thought I had today. Does anyone else looking back on it find it at least a little bit terrible that the black ranger was black, and the yellow ranger was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">asian</span>?<br /><br />Also note upon researching the subject, when the yellow and black rangers were replaced, the black ranger was an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">asian</span> guy and the yellow ranger was a black girl. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Weird</span>.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-37029927876954146412009-04-09T21:08:00.002-04:002009-04-09T21:15:14.458-04:00We talkin' bout flea market...MontgomeryMoments ago on the Office, Ryan was watching an internet video. If you've seen it before you probably recognized it as it is the hilarious Flea Market Montgomery commercial. If you have not seen it view it <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk">here</a>. You will not be disappointed.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-16183242136346195452009-04-09T20:49:00.003-04:002009-04-09T21:03:49.519-04:00Michael Strahan is a geniusI just saw a subway <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">commercial</span> where former NFL player Michael <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Strahan</span> is making a sub for someone when a "real" subway employee tells him there is no roast beef on an Italian <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">BMT</span>. He stares at her like the large human being he is and she walks away. Then the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">commercial</span> just goes on to push the 5 dollar foot longs some more. Now I'm aware the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">BMT</span> lacks roast beef, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">thats</span> what I get like 70% of the time I go to subway, but if you are going to tease me with it in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">commercial</span> you better tell me how I can get it. I'm sitting here expecting them to tell me "GUESS WHAT! YOU can add an extra meat to any 5 dollar foot long at no additional cost! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">THATS</span> RIGHT! We made this deal better!" No instead all I learned was that a deal that I'm fairly certain never left, not only came back but is now... still here. Lame. At least they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">didnt</span> play that stupid jingle I hate.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-81618334993114664412009-03-24T20:19:00.003-04:002009-03-24T22:09:13.267-04:00My basic cable show is better than yours!The Daily show interview Jon Stewart did with Jim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Cramer</span> of Mad Money just re-aired. If you have not seen it I encourage you to watch it on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">comedycentral</span>.com. I however suggest you take this interview with a grain of salt and not judge <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Cramer</span> purely on this if you know nothing else about him besides he is the guy that yells about stocks.<br /><br />I must admit that I am a fan of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Cramer's</span> and think he is very attuned to this country as a whole economically. In general I think he is a pretty smart guy. I also must admit that I am not that big a fan of Jon Stewart. He can be funny sure, but often times when he gets all serious i just want to roll my eyes at him. Feel free to report the news, try and get the scoop or whatever, but its the holier-than-thou attitude he sometimes projects that bothers me. Aside from college aged liberals (probably the majority of my audience) I'm not sure there are many people who care what his opinions actually are.<br /><br />So I guess that brings me to why I decided to comment on this interview. To be completely honest I thought Jon Stewart's interview of Jim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Cramer</span> was unprofessional. He goes on a number of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">accusational</span> rants which baring the approval of an English Major, (aren't you glad I've provided you a use for that...I kid I kid) I'm pretty sure weren't questions. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Cramer</span> lets him finish his "questions" and then usually started in on an "answer" which i guess is better labeled a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">rebuttal</span>. To which he was often <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">interrupted</span> by Stewart so he could either go on another rant or run one of many clips he had from one poorly shot interview from a few years back. And although he at several points tries to say it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">isn't</span> about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Cramer</span> but about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">CNBC</span> and the financial district in general, he uses the videos pretty <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">douchely.</span> Calling out clip numbers off note cards, like a kid checking off his list on Christmas morning, at one point one right after another as if to just say "GOTCHA!" I didn't take a stop watch to it or anything but it seemed to me Stewart was talking a large majority of the time. One point I chose to pay enough attention to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Cramer</span> spoke for 30 seconds of a 4 minute span. Not exactly a great interview when the guest just gets the best seat for a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">monologue</span> from the host.<br /><br />The last thing that got under my skin a little was that Stewart dropped the eff bomb three <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">separate</span> times. I'm not saying he isn't allowed to curse on his show, but when you are grilling someone about how they should take their role as a news person more seriously, you probably shouldn't just yell <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">expletives</span> while you go on emotional rants.<br /><br />Anyway, I guess the moral of this story is think for yourself and dont just take one persons views for the only way to see things.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-55545884932812288002009-03-16T21:51:00.004-04:002009-03-16T23:30:50.938-04:00Then again who doesn't like dancing girls?As many of you know I am in fact a Republican. But I have been trying to give President Obama the benefit of the doubt whenever I can. Some people have put a little too much faith in him in my opinion. Not to get all political and whatnot but this was an ad that was on my instant messenger.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidEcBp-8who0wQrBJRjU_WteNABiFh1VEUXILxYa_TEinTvFkJcnkiAMboyFaO0-ftVvMP6I_bn-smLVfaVEKP2qRKPuZDK-_W9o4f_VnEazTOMJ93q8TC1MaJM-3-LKH2F0Na7hn6CFQk/s1600-h/obamaad.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5313979712418215234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 206px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidEcBp-8who0wQrBJRjU_WteNABiFh1VEUXILxYa_TEinTvFkJcnkiAMboyFaO0-ftVvMP6I_bn-smLVfaVEKP2qRKPuZDK-_W9o4f_VnEazTOMJ93q8TC1MaJM-3-LKH2F0Na7hn6CFQk/s320/obamaad.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF9Iyf2y6q1sT00WlPxO3m-bIqApNhOFfeCmmpE2GfBMooxDhXR5MJOdF159J9jXi0ASweBky7OxYc-sgIoQeDTt0u4-uNfNsKRg3yiBGUeHP8aBLxyFCwEWtkTYBj4UMRITxrhD4utG4t/s1600-h/obamaad.bmp"></a>Yes that is an ad for "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LowerMyBills</span>.com" which I must say I in no way support in that I know nothing about the site. All I know is that it is great that "Obama is the New President" and they like digital dancing girls. </div><div> </div><div>Now again I'll be as happy as anyone if Obama can fix the problems of this country, but in the word of my former roommate, really? This just reminds me of that lady at the convention I believe who went on that rant about how Obama was gonna give her a car and pay her mortgage and bring back Jesus for an unprecedented third coming. Sadly we did not transform into some sort of utopia, and chances are clicking that button will do nothing for you bills. </div><div> </div><div>Somewhere in there I lost track of my point, but I think what I'm trying to say is its okay to have faith, but its not okay to just stop thinking and trust that someone will fix everything for you. </div><div> </div><div>p.s. this was supposed to be funny, but took an oddly serious tone. I apologize for this as I plan on it not happening for quite some time.<br /><br /></div><div></div>umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-70691988089117128282009-02-27T20:50:00.002-05:002009-02-27T21:18:19.615-05:00You know what's a fun game? Q*bertQ*bert was this awesome game for Regular Nintendo and at the arcade (sidenote it's kinda funny how commonly it is referred to as "regular nintendo" when that isn't at all its real name. Like I kinda wanna be a history snob to the point I call WWI the Great War. Anyway...) and when you died in the game he made this weird computerized noise and a talk bubble popped up where he said something to the effect of "%@&#". This will all make sense in a few moments.<br /><br />For the season o' Lent in addition to giving up chips I am attempting to stop using curse words. Earlier today I found myself wishing I could train myself to make that Q*bert computer noise. So the following is a list of things I used expletives toward and or about today...yes I'm aware I have a problem hence the trying to fix it.<br /><br />Morning<br />AutoCad<br />Carrier HAP (A computer program I use at work)<br />Timesheets<br />Coworker<br />Self<br />AutoCad<br />CAPS Lock<br />Bartender at TGIFridays<br />Rain<br /><br />There are probably other things that I forgot but yeah. So apparently if I didn't use a computer I would be a much less angry person.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-19816707258506820572009-02-12T21:16:00.003-05:002009-02-12T23:48:15.542-05:00Who is cooler than Miles Davis?Sometimes I like to think about <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">weird</span> things...really <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">weird</span> things.<br /><br />For instance I have often wondered how would the Civil War have been changed if you gave the South one M-16. Lets assume they also have a virtually unlimited amount of ammo for it. The only logistical issue they would have to deal with is transporting the ammo around from battle to battle. I'm pretty certain the war would easily be won by the south under this scenario. Basically all they would have to do is keep the gun from getting stolen and prevent it from getting hit by <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cannon fire</span>. The former the gun itself could prevent. Feel free to disagree but the range, accuracy, rate of fire and reliability of the M-16 would be virtually unstoppable in that era.<br /><br />You might be saying "That's not all that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">weird</span>"<br /><br />So with that situation fairly one sided in my mind I began to think, what if they had one M-16 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">yada</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">yada</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">yada</span> BUT instead of the bullets killing and/or injuring they made the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">victim</span> poop their pants. <br /><br />I think this would affect the fighting abilities of the north quite a bit. But clearly not as much as if they were dead. For one they arent going to be able to move around as well, and for two its gonna start to smell real real bad when a whole row of infantry gets mowed down. You also have to throw the shock factor in there. Randomly messing your knickers while being shot at probably dazes you for a short while. So now to my ESPN like analysis of an overly hyped event that is never going to take place. SIDE NOTE: I find it hilarious that the two teams they said would beat almost every historic team they matched them up with ('08 Patriots and '05 USC) lost in the game they were yet to play that season. HA. Anyway, here is how I see it. The South would benefit greatly from this odd technology early on when some soldiers freeze up and are then killed while other retreat to empty their drawers. However, it is possible this would result in less casualties but I'm not really sure if men would retreat or just deal. I mean hygene wasnt exactly the most important thing back then. I do believe that todays athlete is just too great and between Randy Moss' freakish abilities and Tom Brady's dreamy eyes, wait thats not right. Oh yeah I think the North would sooner rather than later figure out what was happening and move to fighting in sometype of an assless chap. This would render the weapon virtually useless provided they seperate their lines a little bit more than usual.<br /><br />So in Summary<br />Winner of Civil War - NORTH<br />Winner of Civil War if South had an M-16 - SOUTH<br />Winner of Civil War if South had an M-16 that made you poop your pants - PROBABLY NORTH STILL BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT CLOSER AND A LOT MESSIER<br /><br />P.S. This isn't that wierd an idea, the military has actually done a lot of research on the "Brown note". The idea that a low enough pitch tone can cause people to lose total control of their bodily function thus making them not really want to shot guns or have guns shot at them. So that is the answer to your question "How in the world did he think of that?"umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-71828798614349219202009-02-12T21:05:00.003-05:002009-02-12T21:14:44.443-05:00You think you're Rihanna?Today when I was walking through the mall on the way to the food court I saw a young couple <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">arguing</span>. The girl looked pissed and the guy was trying to calm her down. Of course awkward by all of this I tried to hustle on by. As soon as I got past them the girl said this,<br /><br />"Why you gotta be all Chris Brown all the time?"<br /><br />Sadly to say I was too far beyond them at that point to hear anything more.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-44676526588278180192008-12-29T22:07:00.004-05:002008-12-31T13:32:40.140-05:00Reed FenceTo follow up the previous post Ed Reed is arguably the best safety in the game to day. But were you aware that he has a good chance to become one of the best safeties statistically of all time, and very quickly. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">I'm</span> just gonna throw out some stat categories with the NFL record maybe what the 10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> best is and then where Ed Reed ranks.<br /><br />Most years leading the league in interceptions<br />Record-----3-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Everson</span> Walls, Dallas, '81 '82 & '85<br />T-2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">nd</span>-----2- Ed Reed '04 & '08<br /><br />Interceptions in a Career<br />Record-----81-Paul <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Krause</span><br />10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">th</span>-------57- Mel <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Blount</span><br />43-Ed Reed<br /><br />Oh, and assuming Ty Law retires like he was until the Jets desperately signed him mid year Reed will be tied for 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">nd</span> with Champ Bailey among active players.<br /><br />And here is where he might be the best ever.<br /><br />Interception return yards in a career<br />Record----- 1483- Rod <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Woodson</span><br />5<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">th</span>-------- 1185- Paul <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Krause</span><br />6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">th</span>-------- 1144-ED REED<br /><br />Interception Return yards in a season<br />Record-----358-ED REED<br /><br />Interception Return yards in a game<br />Record-----177-Charlie McNeil<br />150-Ed Reed<br /><br />Longest Interception return<br />Record-----107- ED REED<br />2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">nd</span>--------106- ED REED<br />T-3rd------ 103- Two Players<br /><br />Yards per <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Interception</span> Return (Min 50 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Ints</span>)<br />Record-----25.1- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Deion</span> Sanders<br />2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">nd</span>-------- 19.2-Lem Barney<br /><br />With 43 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Ints</span> Reed currently sits at 26.6 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">YPR</span>. If you assume he gets 7 more <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">INTs</span> but gets 0 yards on returns his average would be 22.9 good enough for second place all time.<br /><br />Career Non-Offensive Touchdowns<br />Record-----19- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Deion</span> Sanders<br />2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">nd</span>--------17-Rod <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Woodson</span><br />3rd--------13-Two Players<br />T-11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">th</span>-----11-Ed Reed<br /><br />Punt Blocks returned for touchdowns<br />Record-----3- Ed Reed<br /><br />Oh and he is the only player ever to score Touchdowns in all of the following ways<br />Interception Return<br />Fumble return<br />Punt Return<br />Punt Block return<br /><br /><a href="http://http//video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6523113276749971307">Here</a> is a video someone made of a bunch of Ed Reed Clips. If you fast forward to the 1:10 mark you will see why I added this. You will see Ed Reed intercept a pass about 6 yards deep in his own <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">end zone</span>. There is nothing to suggest he should make any attempt to return this pick. He does and returns it for a touchdown. You will also notice toward the end of the play a Ravens player (I believe Will <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Demps</span>) is not paying attention to a Jet he could block pretty easily. He will later illegally block him costing Reed the touchdown. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">That's</span> right if Will <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Demps</span> pays slightly more attention on that play Ed Reed would have the 3 longest interceptions returned for touchdowns in the history of the league.<br /><br />So next time you hear someone debating the best safety in the league make sure the words "Ed Reed" and "<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Ball hawk</span>" make there way into that conversation.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p></p><p><br /></p>umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-18971237389026660312008-12-29T21:07:00.002-05:002008-12-29T22:07:35.623-05:00Remember: The Ravens Super Bowl DefenseWith the Ravens clinching a playoff berth in a game where Ed Reed intercepted 2 passes and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">lateraled</span> the ball on both returns, one of which began deep in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">end zone</span> with the game all but over, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">couldn't</span> help thinking about how great the Ravens Super Bowl D was.<br /><br />Top 5 Stats about the 2000 Ravens Super Bowl Winning Defense<br /><br />5-They gave up only 10.3 points per game, a modern NFL record<br /><br />4-They surrendered 970 rushing yards all season which comes to 60.6 per game and 2.7 per carry. Which leads to one of my favorite Ray Lewis quotes. When asked "why do teams run on you when they know you are so good?" Ray responded "It's like in a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">restaurant</span> when the waitress tells you not to touch the plate because its hot. You touch it to see what her definition of hot is and then you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">don't</span> touch the plate again"<br /><br />3- They only gave up 23 points in 4 playoff games, including the 7 in the Super Bowl which were on a kickoff return, not really the defense.<br /><br />2-The offense failed to score a touchdown for a record 5 straight games and the team went 2-3.<br /><br />1- Every game the Offense scored more than 6 points, they won. If they scored a single touchdown that year they won the game. That is insane!umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271516032440774869.post-36601043597679810862008-12-19T22:08:00.002-05:002008-12-20T11:04:55.771-05:00Feather DustersIf you dont like traditional roles then you should love birds.<br /><br />Think about it, traditionally the man does the difficult gross stuff. Kills the spiders, puts up the barns, etc. etc. (sidenote did you know spelled out it is et cetera? I wonder who the last person to spell that out was?) Look at birds, the femme does a lot of the dirty work. Builds the nest, chews up the worms and spits them into the mouths of the baby birds. And what does the guy do? He just flies around all colorful looking for sex. Which if you've been to a club or a bar anytime recently thats the exact mindset some young ladies wander around with.<br /><br /><br /><br />Note: Some information about birds may be incorrect...this is not a joke I'm really just not sure nor do I want to spend the time and effort to find out which bird actually constructs the nest.umdterp08http://www.blogger.com/profile/01620160416426023224noreply@blogger.com0