Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Everything Butt Hockey

The NHL Playoffs are in full swing, and they are in a word AMAZING. The NHL definitely takes a larger step up than any other league when they venture from the regular season into the playoffs. They're playing for the Stanley Cup, possibly the greatest trophy in sports the World Cup is the only contender in my eyes. Not to mention the beards, what a marvelous tradition that is. I could watch just about any 3rd period that's within a goal or two in its entirety, and yell at the TV while doing it. I can not give playoff hockey the endorsement it deserves.

That being said, lets see if I can ruin it. You know where this is going, we're playin' it out NHL style to see which teams mascot is the funniest when you throw the word Butt in front of it.

Whoa, timeout, Versus has intentionally scheduled the final half hour of the red wings sharks game to immediately follow the pens habs game. Pens-habs was 1-0 going into the last minute and Wings-sharks is 3-2 with 10 to go. What a great plan. Anywho...

First lets take a look at the Atlantic Division. Devils, Penguins, Flyers, Rangers and Islanders. Take a moment to say them to yourself (with Butt in front). This division has some depth but no great teams, Butt Rangers walks away with the division, some of the others have a shot at making the wild card in the east.

Northeast Division : Sabres, Senators, Bruins, Canadiens and Maple Leafs
Not a particularly strong group here, your Butt Sabres take the division, but there isn't much hope for the others.

Southeast Division: Capitals, Thrashers, Hurricanes, Lightning, and Panthers
Wow, Butt Capitals is the only team here that isn't good at all. The Butt Thrashers are the early favorite for the cup. We'll give the wild cards to the Hurricanes, Flyers, Panthers, Lightning and Penguins.

In the Western Conference, Central Division: Blackhawks, Red Wings, Predators, Blues, and Blue Jackets
If you tell me you said Butt Predators to yourself and didn't chuckle a little, well maybe there isn't anything wrong with you, but you could be having a little more fun with life.

Northwest Division: Canucks, Avalanche, Flames, Wild and Oilers
Yet another stacked division, turns out hockey wont let you down even if the playoffs have the word butt thrown in there. Oilers top the standings here.

Lastly, the Pacific Division: Sharks, Coyotes, Kings, Ducks and Stars
Not a particularly strong division, I see the Sharks taking this one, with the wild cards shaking out like this, Avalanche, Ducks, Kings, Wild, and Flames.

The outcome of the ensuing playoff bracket is shown below, and lets be honest who didn't see a Thrashers-Predators Final.

If you think different let me know, I'd love to hear someone else's input on the matter.

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